Marsvins and Menieres

This was me sitting by St. Hans spring yesterday after language school. It's pretty cold now (end of November in Denmark) but I had on my trusty arctic parka, and my portable foldable outdoor mat (really good if you want to sit around in nature a lot like I do, lol!) because these benches by the spring are pretty old, and the wood is completely wet. So it's a really pleasant experience to sit here, and eat my madpakker, (which today is rye bread, cheese and pickle, and a satsuma) if a little cold and damp.
But the sound of the water trickling is so refreshing, and so is the energy here.

Although it's called St. Hans spring, (who is St. John the Baptist) I associate it with Sarah, who's the ascended master that I connect with, so I also find it quite comforting to be here. You can read about her here http://www.sarayei.com/
And it's my youngest son's 5th birthday today, so we've just been and had faery cakes with his kindergarten, and I have a couple of hours before we pick him up early so he can come home and play with his birthday toys!
I woke up this morning having a dream that wasn't too happy. I've had recurring dreams about dolphins and whales in the last few years, but this one had a whole new twist on it. I dream over and over again about being in Hawaii and I'm always by the sea and sometimes the dolphins are there, and sometimes I'm looking for them. Also there's another place with coastline where there are orcas that I dream about over and over again. I usually have one of these dreams every week. This time I'm walking along the coastline with an old friend of mine from the UK,  and it's night time, and I point down at the water and say, 'that's where I've seen them before' (the orcas), so we start to go down to see if we can see them, but as we descend, I realise it's not a gradual slope but a long ladder that goes straight down. Now we can see that there is a scientist carrying out ?research, and he's in an orange dingy, so we decide to go back up.

But when I try to go back up, my way is blocked my another man who's also dressed in orange safety gear. He's in the way, physically blocking me and as he's talking to me, oblivious to my distress, my arms start to hurt. I'm not strong enough to hold onto the ladder any longer, and I start screaming because I'm going to fall off, and it is a long way down into that (very cold) water. But there are a group of people standing around behind him, local people, and they reach over him, and grab me and haul me up to safety. After this, I'm sitting in a dorm, on a bed, and a doctor is giving me a subcutaneous injection into my upper arm - ?inoculating me. He isn't friendly, or unfriendly, just detached.
I don't feel great when I wake up from this dream. I haven't been well for a long time now, and right now, I'm in between a rock and a hard place. I have to finish this language course that I'm on, because I (may) need to have passed my dansk prøve i 3 exam to apply for residency, and as the EU and the UK have yet to agree on UK  citizens rights living in Europe, I need to have this certificate, and it is not an easy exam to pass. My right to receive free classes ran out in May this year, but I got an extension until December because I got really ill. I'm still not well, but I really want to get this done, after 2 and a half years of studying, Since my last Meniere's attack in October, I have been waiting to see a specialist consultant, who I saw last year, and the appointment isn't until January, then I will get an official diagnosis. On the one hand, I don't want to get an official diagnosis, labels aren't really my thing. On the other hand, if I don't get officially diagnosed, then every time I have an attack, I can't say I have Meniere's and get appropriate medical treatment. (Meniere's isn't life threatening, but can look very severe when someone is having an attack, but you don't need to go to the emergency room at hospital, and the best thing is to be at home in a dark and quiet room)
The first worry I had about the dream, is that it means I'm not ready to go back to work. My last exam is December 11th, so I am starting to plan a course in January. It's when I'm working, that I become really immersed in Sarah's energies, and it feels wonderful. Although I feel her with me all the time,  when I do sessions or workshops and offer to share/ facilitate her connection/energies to others, that she really comes to the fore - and it's blissful. Right now, I am getting the most enormous sense of comfort from her, and it's a very calm and integrating sensation. I guess I will have to give myself some more time to feel into what's the right thing for me, and when.

From where I'm sitting here at the spring, you can also see Roskilde Domkirke, (the spires on the left). I'm not wild about the energies inside - (too many dead queens and kings that are buried there whose spirits are still around and feeling dissatisfied!!) but outside, the energies come up from the ley lines and spiral up from the spires in an upward direction, which is very nice to observe energetically. I can also see the spires from our apartment as I sit and write this now. I've also started to do (shamanic) journeys to the springs and energy grid here in the town, and that is opening up a whole new learning experience for me. Until now I have worked with the energies by being there physically, but then last week I was inspired by Kehau's work to do a shamanic journey to connect with the energy grid. Kehau is a Hawaiian woman https://hawaiianguidingoracle.com/ and I felt very strongly to contact her to receive a Hawaiian chant, and I am very happy that I did, because I received wonderful help from her. In the shamanic journey that I did, I flew up high above Roskilde with my spirit bird. I could see an intense light burning in the centre of the town and which radiated out from Roskilde in ever widening concentric circles - and I knew that even as the circles become less and less apparent, the further out that they go, that they were still sending out their vibration into the infinite. My spirit bird became a flock, and they transported me to outside of the Domkirke. I had a heavy cloud around me that was tarlike. The flock of birds generated a light around me that transported me to Byparken (it's the town's park which is next to the Domkirke, and which has a stream of water running through it, that comes from a blend of 3 different springs). There under the trees, a bonfire burnt me, quickly and painlessly, until all that was left was just my eyes looking around. Then the bird's light rolled me over to the stream, where I flowed down into the fjord and out to the north sea. Here, after some time, I was slowly renewed, and grew a new body as a Marsvin (a harbour porpoise), and I learnt to sing and play. Sometimes other porpoises would come and visit me and we played together. But I couldn't forget the trees in the park, and I longed for them - so one day I swam back to the fjord and climbed onto the rocks on the little beach next to the museum. As I lay there, I grew legs and turned back into a person again and some tree spirits came down (the little beach is just a stone's throw from Byparken) and helped me up to walk, and led me back up to Byparken where there was still a bonfire. There was a crowd of people there, and they were waiting for someone to do a ceremony for them. It was me. I got everyone to hold hands in a circle together. and the flock of birds shone their light on us. We were renewed. Lastly, I went to a yew tree that is much loved by me and is next to a earth star chakra point in the town, and I sat (as an invisible spirit) blissfully, in the centre of the tree, whilst everyone else went by, not knowing that I was there.....
I think this was a story that was told to me, so I can understand some of what has happened to me, since arriving in Denmark. Right now, I'm in the part of the story where I'm swimming about being a marsvin in the fjord learning how to sing and play, and the rest of the story has yet to unfold...
 
And finally here's me, feeling nice and peaceful as I sit next to the spring. I have my last exam in 10 days, and then I am released to spend my time as I will, knowing that I have done what I have needed to do. I am so looking forward to having the time to focus fully on my healing now, with each Meniere's episode, my hearing in my right ear is being gradually eroded, and it's disturbing to say the least, as well as an extra stress to my language learning attempts! The dream spoke to me about how I feel. The vertigo that I experience during the episodes is definitely is represented by the fear of falling off the ladder, and as I am literally unable to move myself for many hours, I have the need of  pairs of arms (generally my husbands!) to haul me up off the ladder. Many people who suffer from Menieres, become anxious about being out and having an attack, I haven't so far, experienced this, as I feel that it's most likely that people will help me if I collapse.
I can't help noticing how much the dolphins and whales are factoring in the blogs so far... Interesting to see where it goes!!